Car window smashed!

Last night someone broke into our car by smashing the front passenger side window. 200 CDs were taken. About 2400 in value. We have no money to pay deductible for a new window. Guess we won't be driving that car for a while. It did have the service engine soon light on. This just sucks. I am still looking for something really good to happen. Yes there have been little things that have been good but they are hard to find when you lose your second daughter. Life keeps telling me that its horrible and makes me want to go home to heaven even more. Josh told me a couple of days ago about how we agreed before we came down to earth on what trials we would face. Which to me makes me think that I was tricked sometimes. But then he fallowed saying that we chose those trials because we knew that we would get tremendous blessings after. I hope this to be true. I hope that I will get tremendous blessings from losing my girls. I just hope I just signed up for two babies dying. I think that is quite enough for me to handle. I really thought one was enough. I guess God thought that I could handle another one. Please don't send me anymore. Love you but I think I've had enough.