Most of you are not aware that Josh and I are thinking about adopting a little boy named Rhett from the Ukraine. He has CDH. Josh and I first started talking about it on Tuesday. My older sister and I took the kids to the Museum of Ancient Life at Thanksgiving Point on Tuesday. As we were leaving Josh called me at work and told me that Rhett was still up for adoption and that he was extremely interested. I told him that we would see if it was possible. I really wasn't thinking that we would really be interested. The fee to adopt him is $25000 and I didn't think we could come up with that much. Then I started talking to my sister about what Josh had said. I started getting chills. Now I don't normally get chills just talking about something and I thought it quite odd. Josh and I have been discussing it this whole weekend.
My concerns. Rhett is 6 months now. By the time we could adopt him he would be 13 months. I am having a new baby and they would be very close. I am worried that I would not have the time to give them the attention they would need. Gracie needs new born attention and Rhett would need attention to settle in a new country and a new family.
Money is also a concern. I don't know if we could get that much. Also we really don't know his medical condition. I don't know if I could handle another case like Ally and a new born at the same time.
Josh is totally interested. When asked how he felt he told me that it wasn't a Want to do it. Its a I have to do it.
So back to the title of this blog. Josh has been emailing an adoption agent and trying to get the adoption process going.
This morning he got a reply back from the agent telling him that no person with a mental problem will be considered for this adoption. He then told me that we couldn't adopt because of my depression. I didn't think I would be as upset as I was. I felt like the reason we couldn't have him was because I was messed uo and not normal. I immediately started to cry. It's all because of me. I'm not fit to be a mom. I felt horrible. Pregnancy hormones. I guess I really do want to adopt this little guy.
Josh then emailed the agent back to explain the situation. he told me that it wasn't quite over to adopt him.
This is so weird. I really want to pray and go to the temple and make sure this is the right thing for us right now. I never thought I would have emotions about this or chills. We will se what happens. Keep you posted.
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