Saturday, November 13, 2010

Conserns!

I have several concerns in my life right now.

1. Condo not selling
Is it not suppose to? We have now lowered the price to $500 more than we bought it for. We have tried everything. Realtors, KSL. We've repainted, put in new floors and tile, new baseboards, taken everything off the walls, moved tones of things to my parents and storage and still it won't sell. I understand that we needed it for Ally and for my cousin to use but is it or is it not ever going to sell?

2. CNA Job, Regular Job or Volunteer. Am I suppose to be a CNA or not? The schooling Idea just fell into my lap so I thought this is what I am supposed to do right? I have been looking hard for a Job for two months now and nothing, I've certified and looked everywhere. Am I going in the right direction? I have done all I can do. Josh is not going to be able to get overtime very soon and we need the money so should I get a regular job just to help pay the bills? Or should I continue to try getting a CNA job? Or should I volunteer my time and get experience in the CNA field so that I can get a CNA Job? What?

3. I don't know if I am ever going to get pregnant. Josh and I have been trying and it has never been this hard to conceive. Am I supposed to be a mom or not? Am I supposed to adopt? We can't afford to adopt and no one is going to let us if we live in my parents basement. Don't really want to foster because they can take the child away at any time. My life dream of being a mother is going down the drain. Oh and if we do get pregnant again is it just going to die on us? I hope and pray that I don't have another child die. I am not handling it well at all and I do think if I had another die that would be the end. I couldn't take it. But I said that before and look what happened. God please send me a healthy on next time.

I'm so confused. I have tired everything. Reading the scriptures, praying. going to the temple and still I can't get any inspiration on any one of my concerns. God Can You Hear Me? Are You Listening? I don't know what to do. And it seems like there is nothing to look forward to in my life.

2 comments:

Carol said...

Melanie, Did you call careminders. They will hire you for home health. Tell them I sent you. Yes, you are going to me a mom again. I don't know when but it will happen!! As for your condo, don't know what to tell you, the economy sucks big time!!!

Elizabeth said...

Melanie: I can understand each of these to some degree. It took my husband four years after he graduated to find a job in his field...it was so frustrating. It took us two years to get pregnant with our first child...also frustrating and very discouraging. I thought the same thing as you: will I ever be a mom? Though we have never sold a house, when we were looking, it felt like the right thing to do and then we couldn't find something until we were about to give up. It is so hard to wait for the right timetable to come. So sorry that things aren't going great right now.