Thoughts and feelings on the pregnancy!

So I was talking to my councilor about things. When the question of If the baby has the same thing what will I do? I told her I don't like to think about it. I get teary even thinking about it. I don't know if I would terminate the pregnancy or not. I keep telling her and myself that if I should have another CDH baby I would probably have to be institutionalized for the rest of my life. But I've said that with Allyson too. Would God really make me go through it again? I have a very hard time taking to him about it. I feel that I bother him with it. I have decided that he knows my thoughts even before I think them. I feel like I am waisting his time every time I ask him for a healthy baby, for are condo to sell, and help with finances. I have asked him so many times for these things I feel like he knows already. I told my mom that I wasn't praying anymore because of this. She said that instead of praying for blessings. Give a prayer of thanks for all the blessings I do have. So for the last week I have been doing that. It is hard when you are in the mind set of asking for things you need to change to thanks and I have to stop myself during some prayers and rethink wording but at least I can thank Him for things and not think of what I really have no control over. He knows me. He knows my wants, my needs, my desires. He knows what I can and cannot handle and sometimes in life you have to leave it up to him.