Some hard emotions!

These last few weeks have been a little hard. Pregnancy is not very easy at the end. I have been feeling very nervous about making it to the hospital in time. Or even going in at all with contractions. I feel like I am a burden and that I am over reacting to everything. I would feel better if we lived closer to the hospital and gas wasn't so expensive. Also I feel bad for all the false alarms I've been having. Hospital trips are not cheep. Sometimes I just want my water to brake at home. Then I would really know that I need to go to the hospital. But then there is the experience with Ally that terrifies me. She road the wave after my water broke. There was no time to get to the Hospital. I have been trying very hard to get inspiration from Heavenly Father through this. I ask him if I should go to the hospital, or say that I am going and ask him if that is right but get no answer. We used to be so close. I used to be able to feel weather or not something I was doing was good or bad. He used give me inspiration right after I would ask for it. I very much miss that. I feel so lost. Like he isn't hearing any of my prayers. I am trying to read my scriptures and pray every day. I go to church. What is wrong with me? I feel alone. I was very messed but feeling wise after the tragic death of Ally but have tried to regain those feelings and spirituality back. What can I do?